Get Outta My Face

Get Outta My Face. By Rick Horne. Shepherd Press. 171 pages. Paperback, $13.95.

Rick Horne is coordinator of the graduate concentration in school guidance counseling at Columbia International University, has more than thirty years experience as a high school guidance counselor, has raised six children to adulthood and yet still realizes the only true authority is the bible and is not found in himself. His book comes after years of studying Scripture, including a doctorate degree from the respectable Westminster Theological Seminary, and a long career working with teens. Horne uses a strictly nouthetic approach to write this prescription for connecting and communicating with teens marked by anger, indifference and apathy.

The book is laid out in three sections with the first section focused primarily on foundational truths any adult who deals with teens should know. Specifically, in chapter 2, Horne provides eight biblical facts about relating to teens that is not the usual psychobabble fare about cultural and generational divides one hears from their favorite psychotherapist or Dr. Phil, but rather truths such as every teen is a sinner in need of Christ and Scripture provides instruction for how to speak and what to say to angry young people. The rest of section one deals with a parent or youth worker’s motivation and goals when dealing with teens.

Section two leaves the conceptual realm and moves into a presentation of a very practical and structured plan written by Horne for communicating effectively with teens. The plan is designed to be memorized by a parent or youth worker and thereby guide the adult through meaningful and constructive conversations with teens. This reader tends to shy away from memorized presentations like this, but can see how the plan has the potential to be very helpful to some. Also, Horne’s plan in section two seems to be a little too clinical as it includes instructions about sitting posture and how to make clarifying statements, etc, and certainly seems more helpful in formal settings like an appointment with a counselor or minister or a formal conversation with a parent. It seems unlikely that the plan laid out in section two would be helpful for typical daily interaction; however, the principles behind the plan are very, very good.

Section three provides good instruction for how to get off to a good start using Horne’s plan and most impressively concludes with a chapter on the vital importance of pointing the teen to the Cross. He explains that no parent or youth worker can bring life change to any teen, but only the work done by Jesus Christ on the Cross.

Horne’s work is very easy to read and is comparable to the reading level of a book one would find in the practical helps section of their local Christian bookstore.

Horne should be applauded for his commitment to a nouthetic approach instead of the typical integration of humanism and theism. In fact, while avoiding mind numbing, difficult terminology, he argues strongly against a humanistic approach to impacting teens. A good example is chapter four when Horne argues that the objective for the home is not the absence of conflict, but rather the pursuit of God’s glory. If the absence of conflict is the goal of the home, a parent will ultimately allow the teen to rule the home in an effort to avoid conflict. More evidence of Horne’s argument for theism over humanism is that he starts the book with the position that teens are sinners and concludes the book with a call for parents to point their teen to the Cross.

The foundational principles about relating to teens in section one is the prized feature of this particular work and worth the price of the book. As Horne points out, if a parent or youth worker will embrace these principles, it will at least cause the adult to approach teens from a biblical perspective.

This reader is not declaring Horne’s book to be the definitive resource for raising teens nor an absolutely must have book for the youth parent or worker’s library; Horne himself states clearly that the book is not an exhaustive guide for raising teens, but rather focuses strictly on communication. However, this book is an excellent tool that is biblically centered and provides both the biblical principles and resulting practical steps for communication with teens. This book could be very helpful to a parent whose eldest child is entering the teen years and the parent is trying to equip themselves for the new season of life or a parent frustrated by an angry or apathetic teen. It could also be a good aide to a church youth worker or a school guidance counselor struggling to connect with a sullen and unmotivated teen. Additionally, this book would make a great curriculum for a small group topical study in a local church setting.