out of treatment options. First, Ms Connie, then Regina, and now Bro. Dale.
Short of divine intervention, we will soon bury Bro Dale, just as we
recently did our two sisters. Praise be to the Lord, that just like our two
sisters, Bro Dale's trust in the Lord is complete, as is his sweet wife's.
In fact, when he was shockingly diagnosed with stage four cancer just three
months ago and simultaneously informed that the doctors had little hope they
could do anything about it, Bro Dale and his wife both put it in the Lord's
hands, embraced the will of God, and have not lost their joy. In fact, I
have said to myself multiple times in the last month, if I am to die of
cancer, I want to face death like Bro Dale.
I thought I'd take a moment to share here what I shared with each of these
three NEHBCers and their families after they were sent home to die. The
Christ-honoring attitude and mindset when facing death was modeled for us by
Christ Himself in Matthew 26:39, and I sum it up as "pray to live, prepare
to die." Jesus Himself was facing death in Matthew 26; He knew He was hours
away and short of divine intervention, death was inevitable. Clearly, based
on His prayer, He didn't want to die the gruesome death. Similarly, these
three NEHBCers and their families didn't/don't want the death to happen
either. Yet, look at Christ's attitude about His impending death. His prayer
had two parts to it: "take this cup from Me; nevertheless, not as I will,
but as You will." Christ expressed His wishes, but strongly affirmed that
what mattered most to Him was the will of God, up to and including death.
This is the prayer I sum up as, "pray to live, prepare to die." This is the
counsel I give people who have been told there is nothing left to be done.
Keep praying to live; Christ did. But, you must also prepare to die if that
is what God causes or allows; Christ did. So, we should pursue preparing to
die with the same gusto with which we pray to live. We must line up our
thinking with Scripture. As followers of Christ being watched by unbelievers
and believers alike, we must die well. Our death should reflect that we have
no fear of death. Our death should reflect that Jesus is the resurrection
and the life, whoever believes in Him, though they die, yet shall they live.
Our death should reflect our belief that even in death, we will not taste
death, but will instantly be in the presence of God forever. But, preparing
to die well doesn't just mean lining up our thinking with the Scriptures, it
also means taking practical steps to die well. That might mean the one dying
should have conversations with their spouse and/or children to clear up any
issues in the relationship that have not been dealt with. The living will
have to go the rest of their life living with any issues that weren't
addressed. It means the dying might want to make videos or write letters for
their children to view one day down the road. It means the dying should give
their living spouse their blessing to remarry after the death so there are
not feelings of guilt for the living spouse who kept their marriage vow of
"til death do us part." The dying spouse should inform the children of the
blessing for the living spouse to remarry so the children are not bitter at
their parent for remarrying-as is often the case. Hovering on death's door
is not the time to be in denial about death and to refuse to talk about it.
Hovering on death's door is not the time to be selfish and self-centered.
One must do what is best for the healthy loved ones and serve the healthy
loved ones even in death-afterall, that's what Christ did. The one dying is
about to get to go to glory; they are days or weeks away from receiving the
prize. The living will be left behind in grief. Pray to live, prepare to
die.
I share this here, because it is a good word also for us who are healthy.
Our turn in death is coming. We should prepare ourselves now as best as we
can for when that season of life comes. If we are scared to talk about our
death now, how will we be able to talk about it then? If we think death is a
taboo subject now, how will we will be able to die well when the time comes?
Nicole and I talk about life after death for the sake of the living spouse
in our marriage. We talk about it on our own and we talk about it with the
kids. I have repeatedly told Nicole she should remarry if/when I die. I've
told my kids Nicole should remarry if/when I die. Nicole has told them
similar things. They know mommy and daddy aren't afraid to die because we've
spoken with them about it. They've seen and touched corpses, watched bodies
get locked in caskets, watched caskets get lowered into the ground, watched
caskets get covered up with dirt pushed by a backhoe, and seen the ashes of
a cremated person. We've talked with them about how hard it would be for
mommy and daddy if one of them should die and what will happen to them in
death and how it will affect those of us who live here after them. I have
made flip cam videos for Nicole and the kids should I die anytime soon. We
don't talk about the death of one of the six of us every day, nor even
weekly, but we talk about it enough in our home that it is as a normal
conversation and not weird or taboo. Pray to live, prepare to die.
Think that's weird? Did Jesus refuse to talk to His disciples about His
death until the very end or did He talk about it regularly with them during
his three years with them? He brought it up in conversation on a regular
basis. It was natural for Him to talk about His impending death and what it
would mean for Him and the disciples. He may have been praying to live, but
He was always preparing Himself and the disciples for His death. Pray to
live, prepare to die.
Prepare to die well. That means you prepare yourself for the season of life
in which you will face death. That means you prepare your loved ones for the
season of life in which you will face death.
Have this mind in you which is in Christ Jesus. Glory to God.
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