Nicole and I are so excited that the Lord has given us a peace and confidence that Colton, 7.5, is now a Christ follower! We are in full celebration mode. Like almost all of life's most treasured occassions, it was a long journey getting to this point, but we are so glad we did it the way we did it.
Colton has been telling us since Sunday, November 16, 2008, that on that day, during an NEHBC worship service, "I asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins and be the boss of me". He can describe in vivid detail what was going on in the worship service, where he was sitting, and who he was sitting with when he prayed to Christ. Colton was four years old at the time so you can understand our doubt, or at least our hesitancy, to believe him. Our greatest fear is to ever affirm to one of our children that they are believers and it turn out they aren't. We had decided before we had kids that we would proceed with extreme caution and hesitancy about any spiritual claims they would make in life. In this case, we decided at the time to neither affirm nor deny his claim, but to keep sharing the gospel with him, keep calling him to salvation, and keep teaching him the Word of God and see what happens. It was a safe and prudent move--if he was a believer, he was reconciled to God even if we didn't affirm it; if he wasn't a believer, we'd still be sharing the gospel with him and calling him to salvation.
We have carefully watched his life and spiritual development and had many heart to heart discussions with him in an effort to accumulate mounting evidence of belief or unbelief in his life. It is so hard with a young boy to sift through his childishness, passion, personality, immaturity, and masculinity to see clearly what is going on in his heart. Is he an unbeliever, is he an immature believer, is he just being a 4-7 year old boy doing what young boys do? It is so hard and has required much prayer for wisdom and discernment.
But, we recently started becoming much more confident that we have seen enough clear evidence of salvation in him: 1. He has only become more and more passionate about his salvation--to the point that he started showing early signs of frustration and anger with us that we were not pursuing his claim of salvation. Over the last 34 months he has brought it up on numerous occassions without prompting. When we celebrate the Lord's Supper at church or he sees us baptize people, he gets very anxious that as a Christ follower he is not personally getting to observe these ordinances. He complains to Nicole and I for days afterwards. 2. He has only become more and more passionate about others coming to faith in Christ by attempting to share his faith with his peers and praying earnestly for lost family members. 3. He loves the Word of God and is hungry for it. 4. He can clearly articulate the gospel message when it comes to our holy God, unholy man, sin, hell, heaven, forgiveness, belief, grace and Lordship. 5. He has demonstrated genuine brokenness over his own sin. 6. While he is a long way from perfect, we have seen the fruit of the Spirit overwhelm the fruit of the flesh in Colton on numerous occassions.
Still, we wanted to be extra certain; we wanted further confirmation. We don't want to be overboard, but his eternity is hanging in the balance....ok, so we do want to be overboard when it comes to being cautious about affirming spiritual decisions in our kids. One of the worst things a parent can do is rush/pressure/manipulate their child into decisions they are making to please dad and mom and not decisions they are making as a result of the Holy Spirit's conviction in their life. Many a 5-10 year old has walked an isle, been proclaimed a believer by his or her parents, and baptized and by 20 years old has demonstrated zero evidence of salvation.
So, to find the further confirmation, we turned to one of the greatest gifts the Lord gives a Christ follower...the local church. As parents wanting to be certain our child is born again and to safeguard against moving too quickly, we wanted the affirmation or verdict of our local church regarding the matter. This is one of the roles the local church plays in our lives...by living in community with a body of believers they can watch our lives and affirm whether they believe we are born again. The assurance of a local church is a big deal. So, I told Colton that Nicole and I wanted him to meet with a man at NEHBC that Nicole and I trust deeply AND who has regular interaction with Colton so that this man has watched Colton's life. He immediately requested our Executive Pastor, Sonny. Without telling Colton, Nicole and I decided before hand that if Sonny doubted Colton's claim of salvation, we would proceed ahead as if Colton is not yet born again. So, Colton met one-on-one with Pastor Sonny for a grilling session afterwhich Sonny felt good about Colton's claim of salvation.
With the peace of God about the matter in our hearts, hard biblical evidence of salvation, and the affirmation from our local church regarding the matter, Nicole and I feel confident that Colton is now not only our son, but also our brother in Christ.
When we went to his room to share this information with him, we were surprised by the depth of his response to our affirmation of his salvation. He beamed from ear to ear in a serene, but not hyper manner, which is not like him, then leaned over and bear hugged me for a long time without saying anything, and then leaned over to Nicole and bear hugged her for a long time. Then he lay back on his pillow with his hands behind his head and got this distant look in his eyes with that big 'ol smile on his face and just stared into space. It was one of the best moments of my life. Right up there with my own salvation and my wedding day.
I suppose it is entirely possible that his account of his salvation is true. That on 11.16.08, as a little four year old in a sea of adults in one of three Sunday morning worship services at his local church, without any forewarning to his parents, he came under the conviction of God the Holy Spirit while his daddy was preaching and he quietly gave his life to Christ while standing by his seat during the invitation. It is the pattern of his life that he doesn't like our help; he likes to think things through and handle his business on his own. It is the personal testimony he has steadfastly clung to for 34 months and it has born fruit in his life.
We are so excited to begin discipling our son. There are now three believers and three unbelievers in our home. We dream of the day all six of us are brothers and sisters in Christ.
Two lessons Nicole and I would pass on from this journey. 1. We are so grateful we waited almost three years to affirm his salvation. We had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Parents, don't succumb to the pressure and panic of wanting your child to come to faith so badly that you manipulate them into a decision that is made for you and not in response to the Lord's work in their life. 2. We started bringing our son into "big church" at three years old. What can a four year old gain in corporate worship? Isn't it better that they be cut off from the church body and put in children's church all morning? Our four year old boy, all by himself, with no warning to his parents at all, came under the conviction of the Holy Spirit and was compelled to give his life to Christ during the invitation. And his decision was so strong and deep that he stuck to it for three years in the face of strong questioning from his parents and evidence of his decision was born out in his life. Could he have come to faith in children's church? Of course. But did he need children's church to connect with God? No. He has been coloring books through expository sermons in big church since he was three, as do his two younger sisters. They have watched the adults of NEHBC worship God together through singing, prayer, missions moments, the Lord's Supper, baptism, response times, financial offerings, and other elements in the worship services. Colton was deeply affected by these experiences. We are so glad we bring our small children into big church. It is inconvenient and challenging, but their relationship with God is our number one priority during this season of life.
A big thank you to NEHBC, grandparents, uncles and aunts, and close family friends for the roles you have played in Colton's life. It truly does take a village. Your spiritual influence through verbal and nonverbal witness and praying for him to come to faith have played a big role in Colton confessing Jesus as his Lord, and Nicole and I are deeply grateful. He would not be a believer if it weren't for you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Glory to God.
Colton has been telling us since Sunday, November 16, 2008, that on that day, during an NEHBC worship service, "I asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins and be the boss of me". He can describe in vivid detail what was going on in the worship service, where he was sitting, and who he was sitting with when he prayed to Christ. Colton was four years old at the time so you can understand our doubt, or at least our hesitancy, to believe him. Our greatest fear is to ever affirm to one of our children that they are believers and it turn out they aren't. We had decided before we had kids that we would proceed with extreme caution and hesitancy about any spiritual claims they would make in life. In this case, we decided at the time to neither affirm nor deny his claim, but to keep sharing the gospel with him, keep calling him to salvation, and keep teaching him the Word of God and see what happens. It was a safe and prudent move--if he was a believer, he was reconciled to God even if we didn't affirm it; if he wasn't a believer, we'd still be sharing the gospel with him and calling him to salvation.
We have carefully watched his life and spiritual development and had many heart to heart discussions with him in an effort to accumulate mounting evidence of belief or unbelief in his life. It is so hard with a young boy to sift through his childishness, passion, personality, immaturity, and masculinity to see clearly what is going on in his heart. Is he an unbeliever, is he an immature believer, is he just being a 4-7 year old boy doing what young boys do? It is so hard and has required much prayer for wisdom and discernment.
But, we recently started becoming much more confident that we have seen enough clear evidence of salvation in him: 1. He has only become more and more passionate about his salvation--to the point that he started showing early signs of frustration and anger with us that we were not pursuing his claim of salvation. Over the last 34 months he has brought it up on numerous occassions without prompting. When we celebrate the Lord's Supper at church or he sees us baptize people, he gets very anxious that as a Christ follower he is not personally getting to observe these ordinances. He complains to Nicole and I for days afterwards. 2. He has only become more and more passionate about others coming to faith in Christ by attempting to share his faith with his peers and praying earnestly for lost family members. 3. He loves the Word of God and is hungry for it. 4. He can clearly articulate the gospel message when it comes to our holy God, unholy man, sin, hell, heaven, forgiveness, belief, grace and Lordship. 5. He has demonstrated genuine brokenness over his own sin. 6. While he is a long way from perfect, we have seen the fruit of the Spirit overwhelm the fruit of the flesh in Colton on numerous occassions.
Still, we wanted to be extra certain; we wanted further confirmation. We don't want to be overboard, but his eternity is hanging in the balance....ok, so we do want to be overboard when it comes to being cautious about affirming spiritual decisions in our kids. One of the worst things a parent can do is rush/pressure/manipulate their child into decisions they are making to please dad and mom and not decisions they are making as a result of the Holy Spirit's conviction in their life. Many a 5-10 year old has walked an isle, been proclaimed a believer by his or her parents, and baptized and by 20 years old has demonstrated zero evidence of salvation.
So, to find the further confirmation, we turned to one of the greatest gifts the Lord gives a Christ follower...the local church. As parents wanting to be certain our child is born again and to safeguard against moving too quickly, we wanted the affirmation or verdict of our local church regarding the matter. This is one of the roles the local church plays in our lives...by living in community with a body of believers they can watch our lives and affirm whether they believe we are born again. The assurance of a local church is a big deal. So, I told Colton that Nicole and I wanted him to meet with a man at NEHBC that Nicole and I trust deeply AND who has regular interaction with Colton so that this man has watched Colton's life. He immediately requested our Executive Pastor, Sonny. Without telling Colton, Nicole and I decided before hand that if Sonny doubted Colton's claim of salvation, we would proceed ahead as if Colton is not yet born again. So, Colton met one-on-one with Pastor Sonny for a grilling session afterwhich Sonny felt good about Colton's claim of salvation.
With the peace of God about the matter in our hearts, hard biblical evidence of salvation, and the affirmation from our local church regarding the matter, Nicole and I feel confident that Colton is now not only our son, but also our brother in Christ.
When we went to his room to share this information with him, we were surprised by the depth of his response to our affirmation of his salvation. He beamed from ear to ear in a serene, but not hyper manner, which is not like him, then leaned over and bear hugged me for a long time without saying anything, and then leaned over to Nicole and bear hugged her for a long time. Then he lay back on his pillow with his hands behind his head and got this distant look in his eyes with that big 'ol smile on his face and just stared into space. It was one of the best moments of my life. Right up there with my own salvation and my wedding day.
I suppose it is entirely possible that his account of his salvation is true. That on 11.16.08, as a little four year old in a sea of adults in one of three Sunday morning worship services at his local church, without any forewarning to his parents, he came under the conviction of God the Holy Spirit while his daddy was preaching and he quietly gave his life to Christ while standing by his seat during the invitation. It is the pattern of his life that he doesn't like our help; he likes to think things through and handle his business on his own. It is the personal testimony he has steadfastly clung to for 34 months and it has born fruit in his life.
We are so excited to begin discipling our son. There are now three believers and three unbelievers in our home. We dream of the day all six of us are brothers and sisters in Christ.
Two lessons Nicole and I would pass on from this journey. 1. We are so grateful we waited almost three years to affirm his salvation. We had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Parents, don't succumb to the pressure and panic of wanting your child to come to faith so badly that you manipulate them into a decision that is made for you and not in response to the Lord's work in their life. 2. We started bringing our son into "big church" at three years old. What can a four year old gain in corporate worship? Isn't it better that they be cut off from the church body and put in children's church all morning? Our four year old boy, all by himself, with no warning to his parents at all, came under the conviction of the Holy Spirit and was compelled to give his life to Christ during the invitation. And his decision was so strong and deep that he stuck to it for three years in the face of strong questioning from his parents and evidence of his decision was born out in his life. Could he have come to faith in children's church? Of course. But did he need children's church to connect with God? No. He has been coloring books through expository sermons in big church since he was three, as do his two younger sisters. They have watched the adults of NEHBC worship God together through singing, prayer, missions moments, the Lord's Supper, baptism, response times, financial offerings, and other elements in the worship services. Colton was deeply affected by these experiences. We are so glad we bring our small children into big church. It is inconvenient and challenging, but their relationship with God is our number one priority during this season of life.
A big thank you to NEHBC, grandparents, uncles and aunts, and close family friends for the roles you have played in Colton's life. It truly does take a village. Your spiritual influence through verbal and nonverbal witness and praying for him to come to faith have played a big role in Colton confessing Jesus as his Lord, and Nicole and I are deeply grateful. He would not be a believer if it weren't for you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Glory to God.
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