dying to myself...what does that look like for me today

I don't know about you, but dying to myself is a daily lesson as I'm constantly reminded of my own selfishness and self-centeredness.

Take marriage. Selfishness has us keeping count and telling us we've done more for our spouse than they've done for us. Selfishness makes us think unkind things about each other--we may not seek revenge externally, but we slaughter each other in the mind. Selfishness has us pointing out to our spouse what we've done for them just to make sure they noticed. Selfishness has us irritated when our weekend doesn't go like we hoped because we have to go without in order for our spouse to gain. Selfishness is a terrible thing. She's a murderer of marriage in particular and relationships in general.

The only way for selfishness to go is to want to die to oneself and to look to Christ. Husband, love your wife like Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Wife, love and submit to your husband like Christ to the Father--like Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane when He asked the Father to take that cup away and the Father said no--which meant Christ had to die.

What is dying to myself important for a relationship to work? It enables me to forgive--I won't insist on you making restitution when you hurt me. It enables me to love you--I can get past our disagreements and differences. It enables us to fight less because I don't have to have the last word or say "I told you so" and I'm willing to be wronged. I'm able to say sorry. It makes me appreciate you more because I don't think I deserve what you do for me. It means I will serve you and wait on you because I don't think I'm better than you or that you are lucky to have me.

Any relationship which you desire to be great, you must continually choose to die to yourself. If you want your relationship with Christ to be great, die. If you want your marriage to be great, die. If you want a friendship to be great, die. In death, relationships find life. It's one of the paradoxes of the bible.

What relationship do you cherish that isn't working right now? My bet is that if you will choose death to yourself and look to Christ's example your relationship can get back on track because you'll be able to apologize, forgive, be wronged, and serve that person.

Choose death.
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